Shake hands with myself

(First, I need you to play the song "These Days" by Chantal Kreviazuk from The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants soundtrack. This is the song I'm listening to while I write this entry, and therefore you must too while you read it to get the full effect. Happy Reading!)

*Sigh* Soo, THAT was college...that was the life-changing, exciting, beginning-of-adulthood, and first-taste-of-real-independence freshman year that so many movies, T.V. shows, books, and magazines choose to feature as a topic of entertainment. I now see why; the freshman year really is all those things!

As I look back on this past year, I have to say "Wow."

Wow, have I learned soooo much more about myself. I feel as though this is the first time that Sarah Hargis has really lived as Sarah Hargis. Not Sarah Hargis, Bob and Erna's daughter. Not Sarah Hargis, Joe's little sister. Just Sarah Hargis, here and now. It's just been ME; "Me" in its fullest sense. Being submerged in myself, with no parents, family, or old friends to take part in my identity here, has allowed me to really see "me" with 100% clarity. In a way, it's like I've finally been able to shake hands with myself and say "Ohhh, hello. So you're Sarah Hargis!"

Wow, have I learned so much more about myself in the context of my faith. For the first time in my life, it's been just me and God. Not me, mom, dad, brother, church, and God. Just me and God. Me being so much more honest with Him—questioning Him, doubting Him at times, being angry at Him, being in complete awe of Him, being so comforted by Him...just all these extreme feelings that I'd never really experienced before. I've never cried so much in my life until this year. I've learned so much about the world and life, that I've become much more appreciative of my God. Seeing a little girl cling to her mother has set me to tears because it reminds me of the sweetness of childhood. Hearing a bird's beautiful melody in the middle of taking a test has set me to tears because I've come to appreciate creation so much more. Reading stories like Odysseus's tender relationship with his wife, Penelope, in the Odyssey (this one is for you Dr. Kinkade!), has set me to tears because I've realized the true beauty of marriage and family.

Wow, have I learned what I'm capable of! I would have never thought studying six hours a day would come so naturally and just become part of life's routine. I would have never thought writing papers would become second-nature. Centre has pushed me so much in my academic work-ethic. I've greeted the wee hours of the morning finishing the paper, studying for the chemistry test, reading the reserved readings that Dr. Hamm might pop-quiz us on...etc., all with a sense of ease, for I know that it must be done.

And wow, has it been fun! I have really, really, and truly enjoyed my freshman year at Centre College. I've met so many different people, made so many friends, created relationships with such good professors, been involved in so many activities, and have honestly enjoyed learning the material in all my classes. I love college! I love Centre's beautiful campus—the awesome cobblestone walk to class with the accompanying smell of freshly cut grass.

It really has been a great year for me. I now understand the characters of those movies, T.V. shows, and books. I hope that I was successful in conveying all these aspects of the freshman year. As I stated in my first entry, my aim with these journals was to be as honest as I could, to give you a good idea of what it's really been like here for me. It has indeed been life-changing, exciting, the beginning-of-adulthood, and a real taste of independence...and I thank Centre for that. And I thank you for following me every step of the way. Now it's your turn!

P.S. Stay tuned for my final entry from home this summer!