After six weeks of work, it’s time for a break
Tennis Fans Feel Discriminated For Their Preference of Comfortable Seating
By Libby Isele
Cento Features Columnist
As the Boston Pops were filling Newlin with the tunes for which they have become so renowned, I was in Sutcliffe avoiding reading for the next day’s classes and getting frustrated because only two of three treadmills work.
As I wandered aimlessly around the Buck Room, thinking how irritated my mother would be that I missed yet another opportunity to become more cultured by seeing an acclaimed group perform in the Norton Center, I was drawn to the middle television and the drama that was unfolding on it.
No, it wasn’t The Audrey Hepburn Story with Jennifer Love Hewitt doing a very bad imitation of the star’s accent. It wasn’t even Ally McBeal. It was a relatively normal looking woman standing in the middle of a wrestling ring talking about how her daughter had disgraced her by knocking her down.
I recognized this as professional wrestling and made the logical connection that considering the day of the week, this must be the infamous Monday Night Nitro.
By this time a guy in a suit, who kind of reminded me of a television evangelist, had come on and proceeded to reiterate that their daughter was a disgrace to the family. He was pretty fired up it seemed, and was demanding an apology from his daughter to his wife (the woman I saw first.)
Then, the daughter in question came into the ring. She was followed by a really beefy bald guy who appeared to have some kind of belt with a lot of gold plates on it slung over his arm. I was confused.
I also had a suspicion that due to a possible unique living arrangement, I might be in this summer, that I was going to hear a lot about this wrestling stuff. I might want to educate myself.
I walked over to Shaun Smith, who seemed to be intent upon the show and asked if this was Monday Night Nitro.
Now to seasoned fans, this may be a dumb question, but the only thing I knew about Nitro was that they were the tiny pills my dad took for heart pain.
Similarly, my only experience with pro wrestling was that I knew who Hulk Hogan was.
Anyway, without making me feel like too much of a pariah, Shaun informed me that actually it was Monday Night Raw, which was the WWF (as opposed to WCW) version.
This was all very new to me. I didn’t think that now was the appropriate time to ask him which one Jessie Ventura had been in, so I just got him to explain the situation to me.
Basically, the man in the suit was Vince McMann. He owns WWF. His daughter (the one who thrashed her mom) married a guy named Triple H. The newlyweds took over the show and the McMann clan, who wasn’t too happy about that, each sided with a different “superstar.” The superstars will compete in Wrestle Mania and whoever wins will be given the esteemed title of World Champion.
I took a spot on the floor and watched the story unfold (who wants to work out ... this was too interesting). Vince continued to berate Stephanie and threatened to “tan her hide” until it was blistered and blue.
Normally, potential family violence isn’t funny, but this girl was no wimp. Not to mention the fact that her husband, who must have been on the all Creatine diet, was right beside her.
Stephanie’s brother stepped out next, spoke passionately of his love for “Mama”, and gave his sister another verbal lashing. Stephanie and her husband just continued to counter argue by yelling insults and showing no remorse.
Now I promised Shaun I wouldn’t say bad things about wrestling. I did think it was interesting. Not John Grisham interesting. More like a car wreck...you want to not look, but you just can’t help it.
Admittedly, I have been known to watch bad television (I spent an entire summer watching Marlena on “Days” wander around with yellow contacts acting possessed.)
Actually, I think I have been enlightened. I feel that I now semi-understand an aspect of culture that I was previously barred from because of a pre-conceived notion that wrestling was a form of entertainment limited to people who wanted to put license plates reading “Austin 3:16” on their cars.
It has a cult like following and I can honestly (if not ashamedly) say that I would rather watch it than study Econ. Maybe next week I’ll try race car driving. Let me rephrase that ... what I mean is maybe I’ll try watching some NASCAR. Back to top...
After six weeks of work, it’s time for a break
By Ben Costley
Cento Features Columnist
What’s up, spring break? It sure has taken long enough, but finally, the time is upon us.
Every year here at Centre College, it seems like so long before spring break gets here.
For three weeks now, we’ve all had to suffer with our other college friends already going on break, e-mailing us from exotic and fun spots around the country.
We’ve been forced to watch the excitement and enthusiasm associated with MTV spring break.
For two weeks now, most of us have been daydreaming and thinking, “Why can’t I be in Cancun right now? I wonder what’s going on in Las Vegas?”
But now, all is forgiven. It’s our turn now. While my far-away friends are back in the classroom, pretending to take notes at their Division I “pseudo-schools,” I’ll be in Daytona Beach.
It’s my turn to sit on the beach and sip on margaritas all day long. It’s about time I got to work on my tan.
Maybe I’ll send some goofy e-mails, or make couple of rowdy phone calls to friends who are trying to study for their exams. What goes around comes around.
It would be nice to say that it all evens out in the end, but, unfortunately, that’s not the case.
Picture this: it’s Sunday, and after driving all day, you finally make it to the dream destination of your choice.
You unfold yourself from the uncomfortable van you drove down in, and finally you get to take a deep breath and look around. What do you do?
High school boys and girls, running around and giggling their little heads. All your friends are back in class, remember?
You finally get to the beach, and instead of everybody hanging out and drinking a cold one, they’re all building sandcastles and cruisin’ the strip with Mom, Dad, and little bro.
It’s not all bad, though. It’s still spring break, and you’re still on the beach. Hell, if you’re lucky (and smart), you probably brought a bunch of college kids with you. It never hurts to take the party with you; that way, you’ll never miss it.
There’s even another benefit to being the only college crew on spring break.
Though I could never do it (again), there are still a few of you guys out there who can get away with picking up the high school chicks.
Just the other day, I was asking my cousin (I call him Cuz) about this very topic.
Here’s what Cuz said: “Oh, man! Pickin’ up high school girls is so easy! The line ‘Hey baby! I got a car’ still works, and they all think I’m real mature and sophisticated.”
So anyway, here’s the point: it’s spring break, and that’s all that matters. Just have a good time while you get your Break on.Back to top...
Tennis Fans Feel Discriminated For Their Preference of Comfortable Seating
By Shaun Smith
Cento Features Columnist
Approximately 4:20 PM, Tuesday, March 28, the year 2000. It is an afternoon that will live in the hearts of many as one of the darkest days in the long and heritage-laden history of Centre College. A small group of students gathered just outside the recently renovated tennis courts to enjoy an afternoon of Centre Tennis action. According to Centre student Sam Baucum ’01, "The crowd was small, but [enthusiasm was] high." As warm-ups began, cheers of support and encouragement began to ring true from the group of students. The support was well received. Centre Tennis Team member Jeremy Britt ’03 stated, "It’s great to see people supporting the Tennis Team."
Anxiously awaiting the action, an afternoon of excitement was interrupted as the Athletic Department flexed its baneful muscles. Courageous Officer Mosley was sent to relay the message of the callow Athletic Department to this group of young tennis fans. Upon his arrival at the scene of the "crime", Mosley found the students sitting calmly, watching warm-ups, and enjoying the liquid refreshment of water and Sprite, the well-known ingredients for anarchy and disaster. The nature of their crime? This corrupt group of evil, immoral students was residing on a couch. It was then that Officer Mosley (almost regretfully) delivered the message, "You guys know you can’t have a couch out here." Disheartened, disappointed and with a bit of lost faith in the system, the students carried and loaded the couch into the bed of a classic 1971 El Camino.
Usurped from their comfortable seating, the students moved to the cold, harsh, unforgiving, metal bleachers generously provided by the Athletic Department. The already cold wind soon became worse when magnified by cooled metal. The students began to wonder, "Why did the Athletic Department put up the money to build new tennis courts when they don’t even want people to enjoy the matches?" Some complained of the weather, some complained of back pain due to a lack of back rests or support, and Aaron Kohlhepp ’03, after talking to a player from the opposing Hanover squad, said, "Even Hanover’s players wanted the couch to be brought courtside." The matches continued even though the student support slowly decreased one by one as the seating became more and more unbearable.
One fan, feeling an obligatory duty to support his friends, stayed to watch many of the singles matches that followed the opening doubles matches. After congratulations on victory and consolations for defeat were exchanged, the players thought back and smiled about the fan support and encouragement they received at the start of the event. The smiles soon turned to clenched fists of rage as they remembered the actions of an unjust and sinister Athletic Department that chased their fans away. Justin Akin ’02 wondered, "I don’t understand why it’s such a problem, it’s just nice to see people come out no matter what they sit on." Another member of the Tennis Team, Justin Wolnitzek ’03, asked, "What did the couch ever do to anybody?"
Any Junior or Senior knows that couches have been banned from Centre Soccer games. The Soccer Couch remains the most notorious cheering section in all Division III. Itself and the drunken antics and colorful comments toward the opposing team that go along with it have been unfairly linked to a group of students who prefer to do what it takes to enjoy a tennis match comfortably. Anyone present at the Tennis Match in question will tell you that the most offensive comments were those made by students on the court and not those off of it. I’d like to close with a comment from Centre Tennis player Prescott Hoffman ’03, "[The couch] is heritage, it’s C6H0, it’s the kind of tradition this school is based on. We don’t have much fan support and it’s good to see people out there cheering us on. The couch needs to be there if that’s what it takes to get students to the matches." Back to top...
Eating disorder survey results shocking
By Jessie Bolander
Special to the Cento
During winter term, 906 surveys concerning eating disorders were sent out to Centre’s students via Resident Assistants (RA) or via campus mail to persons in Greek housing. If you live on campus and did not get a survey, I apologize, however there was a survey printed for you. Thank you to the Resident Assistants for their help in distributing the surveys and to the 214 persons who did complete and return the surveys. Since, not all of you were able to attend the body fair to see the results, please take a moment to read them. For information about the SEED program, Students Ending Eating Disorders, contact the Wellness Center.u
Editors Note: For layout purposes, the results of the aforementioned survery have been included below and are not presented in their entirety. Back to top...
Student Congress presents the 2000 Oscars
By Kyle Brothers
Student Congress President
Remember how I said Student Congress would be kinder and gentler this year? Remember how I said it would be more user friendly?
Well, I’m afraid that because I’ve asked Congress to consider such a large amount of information over the last few weeks, it hasn’t been that fun. Of course we’ve gotten a lot done, which I can’t help but be happy about, but I feel like it’s time to offer something a little more light-hearted.
So for my article this week, instead of informing you about something important on campus, I’m going to look out to very important issues around the world. Specifically, I’m going to let you know where Oscar was right, and where he was wrong, at the 72nd Academy Awards.
In short, two movies were shafted this year at the Oscars.
The Red Violin is an unbelievable movie that follows a unique and perfect instrument from its construction to the present day.
I know what you’re thinking–this sounds really boring. That’s not the case; the movie is a tale of intrigue and curse. From the young orphan virtuoso who leaves a monastery to seek his fortunes, with the instrument to the boy with glasses who sees and hears beauty for the first time in a raging communist China, The Red Violin explores the deepest human desire to grasp at something eternal.
The Red Violin took home the Oscar for Best Original Score, but it deserved at least one more Oscar.
Although I do agree that American Beauty was a strong candidate for Best Original Screenplay, it can’t match the flowing, multi-language script for The Red Violin. Apparently, I’m the only one who noticed this, considering my pick for this Oscar didn’t even get nominated. I’m still right, though.
The second movie that was unfairly slighted by the Academy was Three Kings. In short, Three Kings didn’t receive a single Oscar nomination.
In case you didn’t notice, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Stuart Little, and The South Park Movie each recieved a nomination! These nominations in themselves are insults to all half-decent movies that weren’t nominated this year, but to Three Kings in particular.
Three Kings, starring Ice Cube, Mark Wahlberg, and George Clooney, is the story of three not-so-pristine soldiers directly following the end of the Persian Gulf Conflict.
Discovering a stash of gold looted by the Iraqis from Kuwait, the soldiers decide to return home to America with something for themselves.
In the meantime, though, they stimulate a crackdown by Iraqi troops on a resistance movement working in the area. This movie, chock full of images critiquing American imperialism and capitalism, is a lot more than a war movie.
While Three Kings should have been nominated for several Oscars, including a Best Supporting Actor nod to Ice Cube, it should have won the Oscar for Best Cinematography.
While American Beauty clinched this award with its surreal rose-petal scenes, Three Kings is deserving for far more subtle touches.
The entire movie has an over-exposed look, giving the viewer the feeling of really being in the desert.
In continuing this pattern, unique camera angles not only pull the audience in, but also help set up visual contradictions that remind the American viewer of his or her responsibility in the world community.
As always, if you have any questions or comments about the topic of my Cento article this week, please feel free to contact me at brothers@centre.edu or talk to any member of Student Congress.
At our next meeting, we will be voting on a resolution to officially condemn the Academy’s rejection of The Red Violin and Three Kings. All students and faculty are welcome to attend that meeting to add their voice to our discussion of this outrage. Back to top...